A friend asked me recently, “Why are there so many eligible bachelors around? I mean there are many men who have everything going for them yet they are still single … why?” In answering her question, I referred her to the following words from the sages; “Whether a man shall be made or marred by marriage greatly depends upon the choice he makes of a wife.” “Nothing is better than a good woman nor anything worse than a bad one. Before taking the irrevocable step choose well, for your choice though brief is yet endless.”
Men are always careful about the choice of their wives. That is why you find that a man may go out with just any kind of lady, even shower her with the most expensive of gifts, yet abandon her to marry one who isn’t as exposed, as beautiful, as well connected, as educated as the one he was dating.
In choosing a wife, there are many things a man looks out for, but these 9 stand out:
- A wise man doesn’t marry for beauty and good looks alone, because as we know it, even gold when seen everyday becomes commonplace, so does the most beautiful face, unless the woman possesses a beautiful nature in her.
- Men do not choose talkative women, and ladies who cannot keep their secrets.
- Any woman who cannot rely on reason to solve the daily difficulties in a relationship, and who cannot be seen as her man’s best friend, would hinder rather than help her man grow.
- In marriage and love relationships, attributes such as gentleness, patience, generosity, loyalty and love, are far more valuable to a man than any personal attractions or social class, or intellectual accomplishments of a lady. As most happily married men attest, these qualities contribute more to their happiness in the home.
- The way a lady dresses is one of the ways that reveals her character according to psychologists. Any refined, “wife material” woman, will not dress up garishly and tastelessly with a view to display herself.
- A man wants a good-tempered woman, although it is a very difficult thing to discover from a lady, as women have a way hiding their tempers in a smiling face.
- Every man wants to marry an industrious woman especially during these harsh economic times. “A lazy mistress makes lazy servants, and, what is worse, a lazy mother makes lazy children.”
- While a man will spend on you, and show you love with his money, men still want a woman who is frugal and has the power to abstain from unnecessary expenditure.
- A woman who fears God, and is prayerful is a treasure to the man.
Although this list isn’t exhaustive, I have decided to limit it to the qualities spelled out by the Wise Teacher in proverbs 31:10-31—the virtuous woman. You might be thinking that maybe all a man may consider when thinking of a wife might be: beauty, wealth, sophistication, talent and other physical qualities.
While those may count, they aren’t all men seek. Most times they look for the good, sensible and affectionate woman. Because as a wise man once noted, “(T)hat man takes to himself one of the bitterest of earth’s curses who marries carelessly instead of seeking with all diligence for those qualities in a wife that are the foundation of lasting happiness.”